This shield was for your protection, but once the actual threat has passed, it becomes a hindrance to your flourishing. (The memory of the threat stays alive and active in the body long after the acute threat has passed, until it experiences resolution).
Not only are the hard emotions like grief, shame, regret, heartache, (sometimes anger) stifled, the soothing emotions/experiences like wonder, joy, delight, hope, openness and creativity also can’t find their way to the surface.
Like “walking” on a conveyor belt at the airport, you are moving, but you aren’t actually moving. A partial aliveness. A functional robotic mode.
This is the cruelty of trauma. You were made to live into your full expansiveness as a human being. You were made to FEEL the full spectrum of your humanity.
Healing from trauma has been described as:
“coming back to life”
“getting a second chance at actually living”
”coming back online”
“life becoming HD”
May you find your way back to all the pain, healing and goodness of being alive.