This quote goes well with a concept about parts we’ve been mulling over. It goes like this: “If a part of a person/personality is really extreme, it’s likely to be burdened.” I’m sure there are exceptions to this idea, but it seems like for the most part when you see extremeness in yourself, a system […]

Having fights and tension between burdened internal parts is JUST as common as having them in your actual family system! While managers and firefighters are both protective parts— they handle the pain of our vulnerable parts VERY differently. Managers try to be proactive and preventative…..but when the pain of our wounds inevitably seeps into the […]

Fear is a powerful lens that potently shapes what we view through it.

It can be absolutely terrifying getting to know certain parts. While they have served important purposes in your internal system, you still might not be well acquainted with them. Often the very opposite is true. The secrets of when they formed, why they were needed, what compels them, and how they’re trying to help you […]

IFS is a modality used inside and outside of therapy that facilitates the strengthening of relationships between the parts within your internal system. It is non-pathologizing, and while it recognizes the impact of burdened parts can be harmful, it reminds us the intention behind the part is somehow for your good. BASIC MODEL: It is […]

The brain is an association drawing MACHINE. This is life-saving and life-preserving. Usually. However, like many of the other mechanisms of the brain, this function can be hijacked by a nervous system sensitized by stress and trauma. If you have good evidence that your physical conditions are mind-body in nature, attempting to draw associations between […]

This shield was for your protection, but once the actual threat has passed, it becomes a hindrance to your flourishing. (The memory of the threat stays alive and active in the body long after the acute threat has passed, until it experiences resolution). Not only are the hard emotions like grief, shame, regret, heartache, (sometimes […]

Become the primary caretaker of your own parts, so that your partner is freed up to become the secondary caretaker. Richard Schwartz So much of the pain caused in relationships is because you want your partner to do what only you can do for yourself. YOU are the one who you can venture inside and […]

Humans need 4 things from an attachment standpoint, according to Dr. Dan Siegel, founder of the remarkable field of interpersonal neurobiology (also known as relational neuroscience). To be: 1.) Safe2.) Seen3.) Soothed4.) Secure These needs are present from the very beginning and depending on how they are responded to and how consistently they are met, […]

We have worked hard to become “abuse-informed”, as “trauma-informed” is simply not enough. Trauma happens in the absence of relational safety and connection, so understanding the many nuanced ways humans can be unsafe for one another, and the power dynamics that amplify this, is vital. Most people we work with have experienced abuse (many different […]