Going back on boundaries that you’ve set is not at all uncommon.

Sometimes this is because the boundary was made out of reactivity, not careful consideration of how best to meet our needs for safety and connection. Upon reconsideration, we pivot and recommunicate our needs.

However, A LOT of the time, when someone forsakes a boundary, it’s because they are caught in a cycle of fawn responses. This is a (often unconscious) NS response, that as Pete Walker describes “is a behavior that aims to please, appease, and pacify the threat in an effort to keep yourself safe from further harm.”

Although the boundary may have been made to protect you from harm, enforcing it seems to be causing more threat, and therefore caving feels like the best option to stop the onslaught of harm that is coming your way.

This is a short-term solution to a long-term problem.

Reversing boundaries that need to be in place will only perpetuate the harm and heart-break.

Care for yourself, read resources about the importance of healthy relationships and find support to help you stand your ground, seek an abuse-informed, trauma-informed therapist if you need clarification……and try not to forgo necessary boundaries!