Humans need 4 things from an attachment standpoint, according to Dr. Dan Siegel, founder of the remarkable field of interpersonal neurobiology (also known as relational neuroscience).

To be:

1.) Safe
2.) Seen
3.) Soothed
4.) Secure

These needs are present from the very beginning and depending on how they are responded to and how consistently they are met, will determine what our attachment style is from then on out. (Although it is now know that you CAN build a secure attachment even if you have an insecure attachment- thankfully!)

Once we become adults we still have the same attachment needs to hopefully be met by our partners, family, friends and ourselves!

Safety, being seen, being soothed and being secure make up the foundation of healthy, attuned, mutually beneficial adult relationships.

What do you think of these 4 S’s?