Become the primary caretaker of your own parts, so that your partner is freed up to become the secondary caretaker. Richard Schwartz So much of the pain caused in relationships is because you want your partner to do what only you can do for yourself. YOU are the one who you can venture inside and […]

Humans need 4 things from an attachment standpoint, according to Dr. Dan Siegel, founder of the remarkable field of interpersonal neurobiology (also known as relational neuroscience). To be: 1.) Safe2.) Seen3.) Soothed4.) Secure These needs are present from the very beginning and depending on how they are responded to and how consistently they are met, […]

We have worked hard to become “abuse-informed”, as “trauma-informed” is simply not enough. Trauma happens in the absence of relational safety and connection, so understanding the many nuanced ways humans can be unsafe for one another, and the power dynamics that amplify this, is vital. Most people we work with have experienced abuse (many different […]

Going back on boundaries that you’ve set is not at all uncommon. Sometimes this is because the boundary was made out of reactivity, not careful consideration of how best to meet our needs for safety and connection. Upon reconsideration, we pivot and recommunicate our needs. However, A LOT of the time, when someone forsakes a […]

Pleasure is an innately human experience and pursuit. The embodied pursuit of pleasure is a means of expressing our aliveness, while in alignment with our values, which connects us more deeply with our true self. It is glorious, life-giving and deeply healing. Why so many of us fear our pleasure, or the pursuit of pleasure […]

🌬Breathing is one of the few involuntary actions that you actually have some control over. It’s a powerful tool of reflection and also adaptation. What do we mean by that? 🌡(THERMOMETER) Breathing can give you a very clear reflection of what state your nervous system is presently in. This awareness can help you recognize what […]

Compassion changes you. Think of a time where you’ve done something wrong and the person involved responded to you in compassion, instead of anger or judgment. It has a softening effect, almost immediately. Self-compassion can be equally as powerful as compassion from others. Beginning to see yourself through the lens of compassion brings the kindness […]

The field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) holds within it so many answers to questions that have been the topics of billions of dollars of research studies. It is the study of how the mind, nervous system + immune system (can include endocrine as well) communicate and affect each other. PNI shows us how diseases are triggered […]

When we first heard “STORY follows STATE”, we couldn’t quite comprehend. Let me tell you…..this tiny little statement has brought INCREDIBLE CLARITY to our understanding of the human experience. Our STORY (what we think/believe cognitively from moment to moment) is a DIRECT result of our nervous system STATE. When you develop this understanding of how […]

🗣”A normal response to an abnormal situation”. We have shared that statement so often with people who feel so much shame, self-loathing, + hopelessness about how they engage with themselves/the world. The research on PTSD in the last couple of decades has been nothing short of REMARKABLE. Such a better understanding we now hold on […]